Turkey Encounters

here’s one of the buggers on the woodpile

Ben Franklin’s Favorite Bird

Ben Franklin thought the turkey would make a better national bird than the Eagle, maybe he didn’t have the same sort of Turkey experience that I did. Here’s an excerpt from a letter that he wrote to his daughter:

For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.

With all this Injustice, he is never in good Case but like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the District. He is therefore by no means a proper Emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our Country.

I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America. He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.

Ben Franklin in a letter to his daughter

My Turkey Encounter

When the wild Turkey’s first showed up the yard, we were all pretty excited at the new novelty. These gigantic birds strutted around the yard showing off their tail feathers. I learned lots of things about them before the neighborhood (including myself) got tired of hosing off the deck every day, and resorted to calling in the wildlife department.

First of all, a full sized turkey can leave about 10 times as much crap in your yard as a large dog. It became a regular event to hose off the deck, the driveway, and the porch at least once a day. We’re not talking about little bird poo, this is full-sized turkey poop. Second, these gigantic birds can fly. when it is 4 o’clock in the morning and you wake up to a swooshing rattle and thump only to see a 5 foot silhouette on your bedroom deck, it isn’t an invader like you thought, it’s a group of turkeys crapping on your porch.

Turkeys are pretty stubborn also, they don’t care if you want them to get off your porch. They don’t like loud noises either (the sound of clapping hands, for example). Things can get a bit scary when you’ve got 15 turkeys ganging up on you on the deck.

Wild Turkeys also attract the neighborhood kids. Coming home to find at least 10 kids chasing and throwing rocks in your yard is an added benefit.

Food for Thought

So, here’s to the Turkey, a little vain and silly, a prolific defacator, and a strong runner-up for the national Bird. Second place isn’t all it is cracked up to be though. The Eagle gets special protection and a noble status on the back of a quarter. The Turkey gets bred into stupidity, fattened and slaughtered mercilessly by the millions during November of each year.

Whatever your relationship is with the turkey, I recommend that you enjoy cooking one of the darn things up this week, and remember to be thankful that you don’t have 12 of them running around your yard.